Hard to believe that another year is almost over. I myself don’t believe in New Years resolutions. Nor does it stand out for me from one year to the next whether it was a good year or a bad year. However, I do believe that everyone can and does have an off year. A year that didn’t amount to much and for the most part was uninviting, uninspiring and overall held a general sense of mundane. 2014 was that year for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy and some really nice things happened for me in 2014. I’m a strong believer in you make something what you want and it boils down to your attitude and outlook. Sometimes though, that isn’t enough.

I don’t believe in playing the victim card and I take full responsibility for my actions. I believe in learning from something and moving forward. I also don’t like to wish my time away, because once the clock moves a minute on that dial, that last minute is gone forever. There will never be that exact moment ever again.

The last year has presented some major challenges. A lot of them, for the first time, and I hope the last time. I’ve experienced shock, devastation, awe, gratitude, grief, boredom, anxiety, anger, confusion, happiness, relief, calmness, but most importantly, a deeper awareness of who I am, who I’ve changed to become and how to move forward with my new perspective. Funny, you don’t think change happens much until you look back over time.

I read recently that it’s important to forgive those that have hurt you or angered you in the past. Carrying around left over bitterness and resentment only seeks to destroy you. You are giving someone permission to have power over you, power over your thoughts and power over your actions. Of course, you have to be ready to forgive. Staying angry can feel like a cozy blanket. It’s a safe emotion because it’s so black and white. Your less vulnerable when your mad.

There is a misconception that by forgiving people you are giving into a weakness, that you are being a pushover. In reality, it’s quite the opposite. A person that chooses to move on despite the crap is an indication of just how strong that individual is. You may wonder what if the person who offended you doesn’t even know they did? Let me ask you, have you ever hurt someone and felt like crap afterwards? Trust me, you’ll know. By not owning up to a mistake and apologizing for it, one is weak and I can’t help but to question their integrity.

So what does it look like when you decide to let go and forgive? Well I can tell you from my perspective. By forgiving those that hurt me, it doesn’t change my opinion of them. I was never impressed with what they brought to the table in the first place. It means that I’m done with them in every which way possible. There is no longer room for them in my life and that they just have to go. Certainly not because they deserve it, but because I do.

You have to get comfortable with the realization that you will never receive an apology from the person that offended you. It will never happen so move on.

You will also have to get used to the idea that you will be going through a transition phase. It’s going to be up to you how long this phase will be.

Transitions are not always easy and they don’t flow in a straight line. You will feel unsettled, aimless, and pushed way out of your comfort zone. At times, you will feel so overwhelmed that it’s almost paralyzing. I think the hardest part about being in a transition is the inability to hold an interest in things for any great deal of time. You may lack focus and find it hard to concentrate.

Other times, you will find a new sense of liberation and freedom. Explore the new line of thought and see where it takes you. Finally give yourself permission to do things that you held back from. Day dream, go to the movies in the middle of the afternoon, take a delicious catnap, zone out for hours with a book, binge watch Netflix, take that class. Whatever it will take to feed your soul. Just ride the wave and lose control for a bit and see what opens up as a result.

There is also a great sense of relief when you realize that all you need is time. Putting time between you and whatever caused you unhappiness allows you to gain perspective. Time does it’s thing and life really does go on. There’s a lot of comfort in that.

Once you gain perspective, gratitude comes next. It teaches you to be thankful for the small, simple things in your life. For me, the fact that I have a great husband and a great family. The ability to ride my bike almost everyday despite the weather. The fact that I have some great friends in my life. The fact that I have my health, a brain, wisdom and common sense and with that I can go anywhere. The fact that I have the ability to read and the know how to process the world around me. Small, simple things, but it’s these things that count, that make a life worth living.

You will also get to a point where you lose interest in looking back. You roll your eyes and go “Oh who cares!!”

I have no idea, no inkling, no crystal ball that will guarantee that 2015 will be a fantastic year. I’m definitely a lot more cautious, and I have become more introverted. I don’t think that’s a bad thing though. It’s just life experience, wisdom and my intuition guiding my thoughts and actions.

What I do have is hope, the breathe of fresh air that change brings. A new page in my notebook. I’m making plans that will lead me down some very different paths. They say you should cater to your strengths. Well for the first time in my life, I actually know 100%, rock solid what those strengths are and what to do with them.

And for the first time that I can remember, I’m excited about a new year. Like really excited.