I was asked recently what I wouldn’t like to do or be asked to do. I found the questions hard to answer. It’s been a few days and I still haven’t come up with the right response. So I thought I’d take it to my blog and write a post about it.

It’s not a matter of not understanding the questions, as I do. I get the sense that the questions have more to do with being in a physical situation. The issue that I’m struggling with has more to do with a mental or emotional situation. Maybe I’m thinking too deeply about them, taking them further then I have to. That’s certainly a possibility, knowing how I process things.

I’m starting to become more comfortable in my own skin. Gaining a self-confidence that I think comes with the combination of age and experience. But the biggest revelation is knowing what my deal breakers are and being one hundred percent okay with that awareness. That it’s going to be just fine to walk away from a situation or an individual that spins my deal breakers into overdrive. Leave and not look back.

I think people confuse impatience with intolerance. True, they seem to be almost the same. But neither have to be bad things. For instance, nothing ever moves or gets done as quickly as I’d like it to. I’ve dubbed it “the speed of Anna” The waiting is always the hardest part. That’s impatience. My family often laughs at me for it.

Intolerance however is deeper. A line that in my mind something or someone has crossed in a morel or ethic way that I personally consider a deal breaker. Selfishness or pettiness for example. Consider both part of a system that makes up a moral code. Everyone has standards that give off warnings mentally when something is afoot, when your spidey senses are tingling. Some call it a sixth sense, some call it your instinct, or your gut feeling.

Have you ever encountered a person or a situation that just seemed “off” right from the start? Something that you couldn’t put your finger on but knew it just didn’t feel right? We tell ourselves to shake it off, to not be silly, to get past it. However, we are still left with doubts. And we wonder. Maybe we go back to that moment in time and re-examine everything with hindsight. Maybe going back brings up unpleasant thoughts or disturbing memories. Maybe it brings up regret, and self-doubt. Or maybe it brings up a reminder of who we are and strengthens our values and beliefs.

I’ve always been good at reading a person pretty quickly. I can tell within a few minutes if I’m going to gel with someone or not. I have been wrong at times, but most times, I’ve been right. Not everyone you meet, are you meant to be life long friends. Everyone is there however to teach you something.

I have been lucky to meet some truly amazing people. I’ve also been unlucky to meet some pretty miserable people. A deal breaker for me is coming across someone with absolutely no compassion or empathy. These people completely creep me out. I don’t think they are even human. One of the most amazing things I have seen in a person? Kindness. It doesn’t cost anything, and it doesn’t take much.

I don’t like to be in any situation that forces me to be anything less then who I am. Whether this is considered a fault or a find, I have an extremely low tolerance for bull#44%. This covers everything from deceit, drama, phoniness, and putting someone on a pedestal that doesn’t deserve it. I can’t stand being around it, and what I detest more then anything is someone thinking I’m dumb enough to fall for it.

I may not call them on it, but believe me, while their spewing it, I’m thinking how unpleasant they are and how I can’t wait to get away from them. All I can picture is the ugliness pouring out of every pore. So bull#44% and the narcissism that goes with it another deal breaker. However, I have seen great humility in a person and I have great respect for it. I have often found that the most talented people I have met are also the most humble.

I don’t like to do things that are not true to my character. That doesn’t mean that I won’t push myself out of my comfort zone from time to time, as long as it means I will grow from it. It just means that I won’t play a part or be something that I’m not. I won’t mold to someone else’s ideals because it’s more convenient for them.

I have also discovered that I can make certain people uncomfortable. These are people who usually have something to hide. People who are less then honorable in their intentions. I guess I’m too direct and honest. So be it. I know I can face myself in the mirror everyday, something they often can’t. I think people are afraid to look underneath. Scared to discover what they will find.

So what does all this mean anyway? Who cares what my personal deal breakers are and what I respect. It doesn’t matter much, except it matters to me. I guess I have finally answered the questions which started this conversation. I know I have my faults. That I’m far from perfect. No one is. Knowing that and moving on despite knowing ones faults lies the true strength in a persons character.

I know that I’m not a bad person. I also know that I’d rather surround myself with people who are genuine and find happiness in the simple things. People who take the time to be decent human beings. People who are there for the good times as well as the sad times. People who will help celebrate you for who you are. There’s honour in that. Anything less, well they’ll just have to go.