I have a confession to make.

My kitchen at home is probably the worst chefs kitchen in the entire country. I don’t mean in the way of cleanliness or organization. That I will get top marks on (I’m a bit of a clean freak and organizational task master) Rather in the way that there’s hardly any neat kitchen chef gadgets. It’s kinda embarrassing actually.

My only excuse for this is that I have schlepped most of my kitchen wizardry including all my specialized pastry tools to work in order to help advance the next generation of pastry chefs. There my tools reign supreme.

This got me thinking. For the average person who sorta cooks at home but mostly eats out, what does make up a well stocked kitchen in terms of equipment and hand gadgetry? I’m not talking about the essentials such as a fridge, stove or the kitchen sink, but instead, something with more depth. A little more ingenuity. A little more sophistication.

I get asked a lot about on all sorts of kitchen equipment that one could use at home. Which do I like better Kitchen Aid or Cuisinart for a mixer? Le Creuset verses cast iron for longevity. Henckels verses Global verses Victoria Knox for knives. Wooden cutting boards or plastic cutting boards. Stainless steel pots over cooper pots. And on and on.

To answer some of these questions, I’m going to share my thoughts on what I think make up some parts of a well rounded home kitchen as well as some things I would avoid, at least from a pastry chefs point of view. There is a lot of stuff out there that one can buy to outfit their cooking space. Some of it essential, but most of it, unnecessary and way over the top. So let us begin as I’ve been told recently that I sure know my way around a kitchen.

1) Cutting boards – I cringe every time I see someone whip out a glass cutting board and start chopping. Use either wood or plastic instead. Both are durable, and have 2 to 3 of them in various sizes. After use, I run my plastic ones through the dishwasher.

2) Knives – I’m not saying you have to go out and buy a big expensive set of knifes, but what I am saying is don’t be afraid to go to a knife store and buy a few good knives, including a sharpening steel. Consider it an investment. Cheap knifes don’t last, they dull quickly which can lead to some nasty slices of the fingers and will either chip or go rusty on you. Neither which is good. Treat your knives with respect. Don’t use them to pry off bottle caps, as screw drivers or as an axe.

What I have and use everyday is the following: 2 paring knifes (serrated) bread knife (serrated) cake knife (14″ serrated) 10″ and 12″ chefs knives and a steel to sharpen them all with. I once had someone ask me why I need to sharpen my knives because the hardest thing pastry chefs have to cut is soft butter. Well ha ha! I’ve got 2 words for that “frozen cake”

3) Whisks and spatulas – The spatulas that most people are familiar with are the white paddled ones. These don’t work so well once added to heat as they melt. So think of that the next time you are making scrambled eggs and your spatula keeps getting smaller. Yum, melted plastic in your eggs. The spatulas I use are heat resistant. They do cost a bit more but when I’m boiling sugar, or working with hot oil, these things are worth their weight in gold. In regards to whisks, I have about a dozen of them in all sizes, but mostly on the smaller side and I use them about a 100 times a day.

While on the topic of hand tools, personally I’m pretty skeptic of any venture that sells kitchen items by marketing them as “gourmet” and for “the foodie”. This includes any store that sells the same types of products that other stores offer but charges 10x more for the same product. I’m not saying the quality isn’t there, but it’s more about a status thing rather then a practical thing. If you want the same type of equipment that chefs use on a daily bases, then visit a kitchen supply store that caters to industry professionals.

4) Coffee maker – If you are like me and love coffee, then I would suggest that you get yourself a decent coffee maker. It has been proven to me that if you invest in a good coffee maker, it just makes really good coffee. Period. Yes it does help to have great coffee beans, and cold water, but taste is subjective. My husband likes his coffee strong, whereas I like mine just a little less. So we now have a coffee maker that grinds it’s own beans, as well as a Bodum. Both are fabulous.

5) Kitchen scale – Because I live in Canada and because I work in the pastry shop, I scale my ingredients in metric. Even at home I have invested in an electronic scale. All my recipes are written in metric and if I come across anything written in imperial, I convert it to metric.

I also have a couple of really good liquid measuring cups. You have no idea how many times I’ve seen people measure flour or sugar in a liquid measuring cup. Oh the horror. Then they wonder why their recipe didn’t turn out…”I followed the recipe exactly and I don’t know why it didn’t work” It didn’t work because you measured the ingredients wrong using the wrong form of measurement. Simple. Ahem, I digress, I don’t work in the imperial system (exception spices). I know new age hippy dippy stuff, but it works.

6) Cook books – I do have my personal collection of recipes that I have collected over the years from generous pastry chefs, and I have them all framed in a black binder that I have dubbed “the bible”. I use a lot of these recipes in order to teach my class. I also have a pretty solid collection of reference pastry books that I go back to time and time again. But that’s it. I don’t collect cook books, I don’t spend hours pouring over cook books, nor do I write down recipes on cue cards. The reason being, if I’m looking for something, I use the internet as there are many, many, many great recipe sites and I print off what I need.

7) Cleaners – Dish soap, dishwasher detergent, environmentally all purpose spray cleaner and a spray bottle with bleach to sanitize is what I use. I also have a handy supply of clean dish cloths (White. If they get stained beyond washing, I throw them out), cotton towels and paper towels (select-a-size)

So this concludes the lesson. Some people may disagree but these are just my observations. I do own a Kitchen aid (white) and I love it. My knives are Victoria Knox and I love those too. I keep all my pastry hand tools in a tool box that you can pick up at a hardware store and you would be amazed what you can find that is useful in a dollar store. Now go fourth, examine and restock your kitchen and do me proud.

So I’m not a carefree 36 year old anymore but a mature 37 year old and I find myself trying to complete a challenge that I haven’t done since junior high.

We are flying to Ontario literally in a few hours and instead of waking up in the middle of the night to catch our flight, we are staying up. Needless to say it’s well past my bed time, but a few cups of coffee, packing and some episodes of The Big Bang Theory and surprisingly, I’m staying awake.

It will be interesting to see what kind of shape I’ll be in after a full day of travel with lay overs, winter storms and delays. I just might have to park it at a bar and wait out mother nature. I suppose it could be worse.

My, how the year has flown. 2013 is quickly coming to a close and what a year it’s been. The older I get, the faster the years go by. I hope as you are reading this post, everything in your life is going well and anything that was causing you worry has settled to some degree.

I have already been hearing talk about New Years resolutions. I myself don’t believe in them. I think it’s a great idea to have goals, visions and aspirations to work towards, I just don’t think one needs added pressure.

I’m on vacation. School wrapped up as of yesterday with a Christmas breakfast with the other chef instructors and a gift exchange. The semester has gone by fast and it’s hard to believe that we’re done until the new year. I was asked if I found the semester hard, with it being a new job, a new program and new students. The answer is no. The work was challenging, some days more then others, but it was a very interesting challenge and I was never bored. I actually had fun.

Some people say that they have a feeling that the new year is going to be great, that things are going to be different, and last year will be forgotten about. Great. Good for them. I do look forward to a new year, but I also remember the past year with fond memories.

Here are some things I do plan on working on in the 2014. I will continue to help grow the pastry arts program that I find myself lucky enough to teach. The more I learn about it, and the more I develop as an instructor, the more I realize that this is for me and I am grateful for the opportunity.

I miss being part of a wine club so I’m going to start looking into joining one. I don’t think it will be hard to find one in Kelowna, heart of wine country.

I also need to find another hobby so I’m thinking I will look into an art class of some kind. I always wanted to take one and I think it’s time to put my money where my mouth is and just do it. I need a hobby that taps into my creative side and gets me out. Don’t get me started on scrap booking. Enough said about that.

I’m toying with the idea of taking a beginners class in hot yoga. I tried yoga in the past and I didn’t like it. I found it a little slow and the yoga teacher was pretty tough. However, I recently hurt my back and although it’s healing nicely, I’ve been told I need to do daily stretching and hot yoga is a good place to start.

I will also continue working with a personal trainer who is teaching me how to incorporate a clean, healthy eating style for my body type and although I curse the entire time that I am working out, I’m glad I do it and I’m seeing results. I even went out and bought a juicer and I actually use it on a daily basis.

I thought of volunteer work in the past and I wish I had the nerve to help out at the animal shelters, but I have come to the realization that I would probably bring all those animals home with me, that is of course if I was able to get through my shift without bawling my eyes out. So instead, I think I may consider helping out at the food bank.

The past year was full of great times, and not so great times. Some of the highlights include; working hard and saving up for a new TV (55″ smart TV), landing a dream job in a beautiful city located in a beautiful province, completing some more courses towards a certificate in adult education, a vacation, launching a new pastry arts program and getting a new car (something that was a long time coming).

I regret nothing and life is good. I am also glad that I followed my instinct and refused to settle for second best.

I will end my last post for 2013 here. I hope this past year was good to you and that you are happy, healthy and good fortune has found you. Have a safe and merry Christmas and may 2014 bring you much happiness and peace of mind.

“….You can’t start a fire, worryin’ about your little world falling apart….”

“Dancing in the Dark”, Bruce Springsteen.

Bruce Springsteen’s song really resonates with me, especially during the past summer as I really did feel like things were out of my control and at times, my little world was falling apart. I’ve read that the best time to write about what troubled you in the past is to write about it when your feeling good. I’m feeling good.

Transition. What is it? What does it mean? What creates it? How do you know you’re going through one? How do you know when it ends? Are others going through one too? It begins the second that you have experienced a shock or a major loss. It’s anything that results in a change, a major shift in your life that forces you to come face to face with some cold truths. It can make you feel angry, scared, thoughtful, regretful, relieved, hopeful, depressed, uncertain, confused. Pick one because it’s all there.

Transition, yes I was going through. I didn’t know I was until I took some career counseling. I took the course because I felt like I hit rock bottom career wise. Everyone you meet is beginning one, going through one or ending one. Some of it not as bad as what your faced with, some of it much worse. I see transitions taking place all the time.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a pastry chef. I never doubted it, nor did I ever look back and regret my decision. I worked hard and I learned and I grew. I met a lot of people along the way that taught me and lucky for me became my friend. I said I wanted to have my own business and through sheer grit and determination, I accomplished as such. Then a whole new world opened up in the form of teaching and I grabbed onto it with the realization that the more I learned about teaching, the more I was enthralled with it.

During the career counseling, I seriously questioned whether I wanted to keep pursuing being a pastry chef and by extension, being a teacher. I was very close to packing away my chef clogs and doing a career 180 to become a career counselor. I’ve had a few knock downs and every time I got myself back up, there was another situation ready to knock me over. Again. You have to ask yourself how much more are you willing to take. I knew I wanted to teach, and in some way help people. I’ve always been attracted to the underdog.

What I learned from the counseling is that when your job stops very suddenly, it’s a world of shock. You feel overwhelmed; you have bills to pay and commitments to keep and you wonder how you’re going to do that when you’ve been told that your income will no longer exist.

Once the shock wears off, your left feeling depressed because the world you were used to, so comfortable in, is no longer. You start to question “What’s wrong with me?, “Am I really that bad?”.

Next thing you know, you start calling yourself all sorts of bad names, all self-confidence destroyed and you lose all sense of direction and purpose. What I needed was my drive and purpose back.

I’ve also come to the understanding that a person’s indifference towards you can be more brutal then a bully picking on you. If someone wants to walk out of my life, I will gladly hold the door for them. If they can’t handle what I bring to the table, then I seriously question why they’re around. I don’t need anyone kicking me around, because I do a pretty good job of that to myself sometimes.

I’ve been judged harshly because I didn’t fit someones mold, looked down on because I didn’t buy into someone’s idea. I have learned that when someone doesn’t like you it’s the result of one of the following a) they don’t like themselves and as such they see something in you they wish the had or b) they feel threatened by you.

When I was at the closest point of calling it quits with being a pastry chef, my world shifted again and I was offered the dream job. All of a sudden I had perspective. A lightness in my step and the conclusion that if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, things will get better. If you put yourself out there, people will notice and will respond.

As a result, I have a great life. I have a dream job, a great marriage, my health and wonderful friends. I go to work everyday and I’m lucky enough to consider my work as not work. I have been given some wonderful opportunities both in the past and the present and I wouldn’t go back and change anything, even the painful lessons. I am indeed very thankful for the experiences.

I have also learned that, when I get knocked down, I get back up. Each time I get back up, I’m just a little bit more stronger, I fight back a little bit more and I rebel just a little bit more. I’m determined not to be shaped by one’s unreal expectations. The more I’m told that I can’t, gives me that much more determination that I will.

Holy Hanna banana! 2 major moves in 13 months! I’m tired but words of advice if you are planning on moving HIRE MOVERS!!! It’s so worth it. If you told me a year ago that we weren’t to get too comfy because giddy-up we’re going to do it all over again soon, I would probably have run away screaming. However, in this case, the ends truly justify the means. If you remember from one of my recent posts, I talked about opportunities and questioning the what-ifs that come into our lives. Well low and behold, opportunities do present themselves as I am living proof of that and one does have to swallow their fear and self doubts and keep moving upward and onward.

We were in Calgary this time for a year (‘though we lived there previously for 6 years) and I had a good job where I met some amazing people. It was a great year and I learned so much and as such, I wanted to extend my thanks to some people who really helped make the year for me: Suzanne, Michael, Guy, Leopold, Hayoto, Jonathan, Clark, Andreas, Simon, Kevin, Joy, Linda, Purdy, Jim, and Julia. You all taught me in your way and I am eternally grateful. I also had some amazing students, and although I can’t name them, I hope they some day read this post and know that I was and still am proud that I had the chance to be their teacher and I learned as much from them as they did from me.

We are now living in beautiful British Columbia, Kelowna specifically and I truly believe that Kelowna and the Okanagan Valley is Canada’s version of Hawaii. We moved because I have been given the chance to roll out and teach a brand new pastry arts program (for those who don’t know, I’m a pastry instructor) Again, opportunity was knockin’ at my door and once opened, I was rewarded with the dream job of making a pastry program my own and leaving my stamp upon things. What this actually means is: fleshing out curriculum and building a strong foundation of pastry knowledge where the students in turn will have the ability to work anywhere, being productive pastry employees and further growing the industry. Ahhh… no pressure.

I have learned over the years that there are many types of chefs. This breaks down further into sub-categories or genres if you will of pastry chefs and bakers. Being a pastry chef or a baker are entirely different professions in Europe and it’s been this way for hundreds of years. It’s only in North America where the powers at be have lumped pastry chefs and bakers together. When it comes to training, what is good for the pastry chef to learn is good for the baker to learn. That can’t be further from the truth but that is the way the current North American system is set up with very slow change taking place.

Neither profession is better then the other it’s just the skills needed to do the job as a pastry chef or of a baker are quite a bit different. What you are starting to see now, and it’s more noticeable for those that work in the industry, but a further sub-genre of job titles developing with very specific skill sets. Now there is the Confectioners (people who make candy), the Chocolatiers (people who work with chocolate), Glacier (people who make frozen desserts including ice cream), of course the baker who makes the bread and then you have the pastry chef who oversees all of these people, at least in a traditional french brigade system.

One of the challenges with rolling out a brand new pastry program is deciding where to begin. I believe a great place to start is focusing on building a very strong foundation, a solid core in which as the student grows in skill set, the core gets stronger and stronger. I’m a huge believer that without that solid core, the rest ends up getting built like a house of cards that crash when things become more challenging. Wanting to be the next star chef on the Food Network is a great aspiration, but if one can’t properly mix and bake a simple cake, then what good are they to the future employer if they can’t understand production? After all, that’s the position one is being hired for when they start out in the industry. It’s not glamorous, but that’s the 1st step of many one has to make in a long line of training to get to the Food Network. So where do you begin? What is the very first thing you need to teach that student that will set them up for success right from the word go? It’s a hard one to answer.

I guess it’s safe to say, that though I consider myself a pretty open-minded individual, I place a lot of value in experience. I instinctively trust chefs more if they can walk the talk because they have been through it. They know what it’s like to work crazy long hours because they have done it. They understand how to work in cramped hot kitchens and get on with it, the results being nothing short of a miracle because chefs just know how to use ingenuity. They can share war stories like the best of them, share a glass of wine or break bread with you.

Consider the pastry shop the eye of the storm; ’cause when it’s crazy in the kitchen, the pastry shop has their #4%% together. We highly pride ourselves on that and you can take THAT one to the bank! Having experience and being able to share your war stories with the next generation of chefs is invaluable. In my mind, it helps make you a better chef, a better teacher. If you don’t, then how can a student take you seriously? If I was a student and you couldn’t back up what you were saying, I in turn wouldn’t take you seriously. I just couldn’t. Experience speaks volumes and for those that don’t think so, go and get some experience instead of talking about it.

I have also learned that there are many different types of pastry chefs out there. Some are naturally gifted, but most of us have to really work hard and train. I have more respect for the pastry chef who knows a little about a lot of stuff. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great idea to be really good at something, but in reality, one is being depended on to know and do more. Kitchen budgets are getting tighter and costs of ingredients are getting higher. Employers want bang for their buck. It’s not always a pretty reality but it is reality (unlike reality tv)

I never had the desire to be the greatest pastry chef out there. What I do desire is having the solid reputation of being a strong, knowledgeable pastry chef and instructor. I’d rather be known for being a fair, open-minded and empathetic teacher instead of a dessert genius tyrant. I love what I do and I love dessert, but there are other things in my life I love more. To get to the top and be the best at anything, one has to pay a heavy price and to me, it’s not worth it. Everything, and I mean everything comes at a cost. I’m a strong believer in a healthy work/life balance and if one lives to work, then there’s something off in my humble opinion. Most of all, if I can’t have fun doing my job, have the room to be creative and constantly learn something new, then it’s time to pack it in. Although I haven’t traveled internationally with my job, dessert has taken me through many journeys and as such I have solid industry experience behind me. Simply and honestly, I make dessert and I get to teach others how to do it. I have the best of both worlds, and doing what I do is the icing on the cake.

There’s something to be said for organic and/or fair-trade products. No I was not part of the generation that created the Hippie movement. I don’t practice yoga (I tried but I was bored. Boxing is more my style) nor do I wear hemp clothes. I do however own 2 pairs of Birkenstocks, does that count? I am deeply concerned about the environment. I do recycle, ‘though I don’t compost as it’s tricky to do so in an apartment. I am quite water conscientious, love the idea of a green, environmentally friendly home that’s off the grid, believe that more money and research should be put into electric cars (if only to make them look better) and solar energy and wind power are fine by me. I was even on the environment committee at work and at Anna’s Indulgence, we sold fair-trade coffee (which was delicious and I miss it greatly. Shout out to Green Bean Coffee Imports!) But with all that being said, I don’t normally buy organic because frankly, it can be expensive. However I am starting to dip my toe so-to-speak into the organic waters.

I guess we need to define what organic food is and what fair trade means and what is single origin chocolate anyways? According to Soil Association; the “…definition of organic food is food which is produced using environmentally and animal friendly farming methods on organic farms” At the website for World Fair Trade Organization, they have posted the latest definition of Fair trade; “The currently accepted definition of Fair Trade is as follows: “Fair Trade is a trading partnership, based on dialogue, transparency and respect. It contributes to sustainable development by offering better trading conditions to, and securing the rights of, marginalized producers and workers. Fair Trade products are produced and traded in accordance with these principles.” Single origin chocolate as defined by Chocolate Trading Co states that “Single origin chocolate is so called because the cocoa beans used to create it are taken from a single source/origin, in some instances a single estate or plantation but in most instances a single country.” So there you have it. Some of the buzz words to be looking for are “sustainable”, “environmentally friendly”, “renewable”, “certified organic”, and “ocean wise” All very good things.

I recently visited an all-organic fair trade market and I honestly did not know where to look first. It’s sensory overload yet intriguing all at once. Not quite like Vegas or anything but definitely a form of overwhelm. If you are not familiar with organic markets and organic products, all the packaging is new to you and unfamiliar. The colours of the displays run from calm and soothing to vibrant and colourful. There is more of a concentrated effort on the products labeling. Consumers who shop organic tend to pay more attention to the labels. They want to be informed on what’s in the product, where it comes from and how it’s made. Most of all, the labels better be listed with few ingredients, or even better if all the ingredients are organic and fair trade. At the market, you will find everything from coconut oil, laundry detergent to tree bark. I never knew I needed tree bark, but it’s for sale (organic and sustainable of course) Ok, I’m being a little sarcastic, but on an educational front, cinnamon sticks are a form of tree bark.

The organic movement has been around for a long time but not always mainstream. People who choose to buy organic do so out of a personal and ethical choice, whether its due to their diet or the desire for healthier living. More people are getting sick both physically and mentally due to over-produced and genetically modified foods and are starting to rebel and demand better in which to consume. At one time, food allergies were pretty much unheard of. Now it’s so common that to not have a food allergy seems almost bizarre. Why do you suppose food allergies have become so prevalent? Is it all in people’s minds or is it related to how food is grown and treated with possible additives and/or preservatives? As a side note, have you ever eaten a Twinkie? There is a reason why its shelf life is like a thousand years.

I don’t believe organic is a fad or a trend. It’s certainly here to stay and will get bigger as time passes. Yes, you will always have the people who buy into this because its the “in” thing, a status symbol. And you will always have the naysayers “Organic!? I’m not paying that! Doesn’t taste any different. A load of crap!” Whatever. To the chef, its yet another way to flex our culinary muscle. Something to get excited about and to be inspired by. Maybe if the local coffee shop (you know who I am referring too) started using organic and fair trade coffee beans, the masses would be finally convinced. Fast food joints, take note!

I’m coming around to organic more and more. I was never against it but like most people, I didn’t know much about it. Although the amount of organic products available are increasing every year, there’s still a lot that isn’t. There’s also a lot of people who like the idea of organic but it’s either not readily available in their area or if you have a lean food budget, organic is not feasible. Some would argue that making healthy meals with organic doesn’t have to be expensive and I would agree to a point. But it does take the savvy shopper to figure that one out.

I consider myself very lucky that if I choose organic, its because I want to, not because of the force of dietary restrictions like so many others. I can pretty much eat anything. That may change as I get older but for the moment, I’m going to enjoy it. So I have a lot more freedom to flit about, sampling, experimenting and over all taking the time to try things out and deciding if I like the product and if I buy into the whole idea of organic food.

The shoppers at the market did not give off an air of snottiness and I found the staff very friendly and helpful. Very unlike the lady at the cupcake store I visited right before. (Everyone knows cupcakes are on the way down. Ohh, did I touch a nerve?) At the end of my trip to the organic market, I did make a purchase. Maybe it was too easy of a purchase, but I bought 2 organic fair trade chocolate bars with a cocoa content of around 70%. I know, I kinda played it safe. But hey, baby steps.

Everyone experiences defining moments where all of a sudden, things become clear, the clouds of doubt lift and everything falls into place. Something is telling, nagging, screaming, whispering in your ear that this feels right. I had one of these pivotal moments recently while away on vacation. Maybe it was because I was on vacation, maybe it was the change in location and relaxed attitude or maybe it was the wine talking (I’ll explain) but it came and settled right in the centre of my brain and would not go away. Just would not rest. At me like a dog with a bone.

We visited the Okanagan Valley, specifically Kelowna. Maybe it’s all the wine that’s produced there, or maybe it’s the food and the wine pairings that just seem to make themselves. Or maybe it’s all the world class talent of the chefs that come far and wide to work the nuances of the local product. It’s not surprising really, because coming from a chefs point of view, the food culture there is very intoxicating, so inspirational. All very exciting.

The food culture in Kelowna is not like anything else I’ve experienced. It’s so relaxed and the food scene just does, just is. It’s so effortless, like it doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone because, the food and the wine available (which is enormous) writes it’s own menu. Other food cultures I’ve experienced seem to almost move at a frantic pace. So busy to prove itself, it’s sometimes so over the top. Sometimes, food just needs to be. Getting back to the basics isn’t always a bad thing or a step down.

Our trip was short but we tried to maximize our time there. We visited 7 wineries (many more left to explore) and 1 organic goat farm. I’ve never been a fan of goat cheese, or chevre as some people call it (“It’s chevre Anna, chevre” as someone one told me his voice dripping in utter disdain that I didn’t know what the french term was) I always found goat cheese tasted like, well…goaty. However, I was open-minded and tried several styles of goat cheese and was pleasantly surprised how good it was. I guess I just didn’t have great goat cheese in the past. Always looking to learn something, I discovered that people who are lactose intolerant can eat goat products (cheese, ice cream and milk) Had no idea. Because the goat cheese didn’t kill me, nor did the world end, we bought some. Crisis adverted.

Anyways, back to the wine (its always about the wine) Out of the 7 wineries we toured, 2 of them were organic, which means they practice 100% organic and sustainable methods. These wineries look quite a bit different then the ones who aren’t organic. They are more wild and not every blade of grass is perfectly in it’s place. This appeals to me as it proves that beauty can be rebellious and just a little different and untamed. Some people believe that organic wine just tastes better. Better colour, and more cleaner and crisp on the palate. There also doesn’t seem to be a long lingering taste, and for some that’s preferred. In the wine and liquor stores, you may only find a small section devoted to organic wines. This has a lot to do with the regulations that are in place with how much bottles of wine a winery has to produce. The smaller the winery, the less wine that can be produced and the less space they have in the store. However, this is starting to change. Myself, well I liked those wines the best (all I needed was a slab of crispy bacon to go with it and I’d be a happy girl) So we purchased a lot of it. The wine not the bacon that is.

It’s obvious that everything there centres around the vines and the wines. Coming from the Prairies were everything is always centered around the grain and cattle, it’s a nice change to think about something different. Not better, just different. When you walk down a row of grape vines, you learn just how different the vine leaves are from one varietal to the next. The grapes themselves are much different then table grapes. Depending on which wine grape, the grapes either grow tightly and compact or the bunches are longer and looser. Although the growing season is still new for the year, I tried some wines grapes. Hard to believe that the sour, lime tasting fruit I had will turn into a lovely glass or bottle of wine. The rows of grape vines are soldier straight and it was a beautiful scene to look upon. I can just imagine how spectacular everything will look come the fall and the harvest.

Kelowna is a smaller city but it has a wealthy population, amenities of a big city, including an airport, a beautiful lake and spectacular weather (the hotter the better ’cause I hate the cold) Granted, once the seasons change and the tourists leave, Kelowna is just like any other place in Canada. Around Christmas, they even get a cold snap of around -20 for 2 or 3 days. Can you imagine? Although parts of BC were hit hard by the recession of 2008, Kelowna for the most part was saved from the worst of it. While we were there, we ate out every night and had Cuban, Italian and BBQ. The weather was hot. We sampled the local beers, wines and a sangria or 2. We walked along the boardwalk, dipped our feet into the warm water of the lake, bought cherries and apricots at the local farmers market and pigged out until cherry juice ran down our faces and just soaked up the relaxed beachy vibe.

Although I never got the chance to hunt for the local lake monster Ogopogo (gotta pace myself) and there is so many more wineries to explore, I left with a greater appreciation of Okanagan wines (not the toughest lesson I’ve had) and the deep yearning to go back. Now excuse me, as this glass of wine (a rose) is calling me.

Why is it so hard to get this first sentence started? I mean, I have the idea behind this next post and I have all sorts of odds and sods floating around in my head that I hope I will be able to form complete thoughts and type it down. I guess I have too much to say that at times, it all wants to come out at once. When I first started this blog way back when, the idea was to discuss my thoughts and views on all things sweet and dessert related as well as discuss my experiences as a small business owner. Through the last year or so this blog has sort of morphed into more self-reflection and gaining more perspective on things. I have found this experience to be quite liberating and cathartic and I have a much greater understanding of who I am, how I process new information, why I question what’s around me and more important then anything, the realization that I am much more then just a pastry chef or just an instructor or just Joeshmoo running to catch the next train.

We are all familiar with typecasting. We usually associate it with movie or rock stars. How many times have we looked at someone and said mentally “I’ve got your number.” How often have we passed judgement on someone because they may not conform to society? Maybe their hair is bright purple or their jeans are sitting at their knees or they talk with a funny voice? How often do we practice compassion and empathy? How many times have you been typecast? Placed into a role that may or may not have been fairly asked for? How many people have tried to put you into a box and tried to make you conform to their ways? Would you even notice if they did?

I have many interests outside of desserts. I love to read, write, go to the movies, try new restaurants, bike and hike. All great hobbies. However, it goes much deeper then that. It sounds a little funny to admit, but I can’t seem to get enough knowledge. The more I learn about the world around me, the more entranced I am by the beauty, the wonder, the curiosity. Even the mundane things that fill up our everyday lives hold a certain amount of attraction for me. I can get lost in the wonder of how the light plays off a reflection in a window. How I can tune into a song of a bird during rush hour traffic. Noticing how the sun warms my face and how the wind feels on my skin during those first weeks of spring. I guess you can say it’s getting lost in the moment.

I find people fascinating. I wonder what they’re thinking. How they’re feeling. How do they react to things. Why did they choose that book to read or that pair of shoes to wear? I people-watch all the time and it has been proven to me that you will learn a lot about someone if you just keep quiet and let them talk. You will learn a lot about people if you observe body language. I am aware of the language from people around me, and I have become more self-aware with what I bring into the environment. The one thing this has taught me is you just never know what’s going on under the surface of someone. What sorts of tragedies and triumphs they’ve experienced. What chains of circumstances has unfolded to create this moment in time? This comes in handy if you teach because a huge amount of time is focused on anticipating a students needs and meeting that challenge head-on. With this, I also enjoy the art of conversation. What’s that you ask? An art form that many say is lost. Having all sorts of conversations with all sorts of people anytime, anywhere. It doesn’t have to be anything profound every time, it just has to be talking, showing people that yes you do have a personality and yes so do I. I believe that everyone you meet will teach you something. So why not open yourself up to that?

Have you ever been in a situation where you are dying to contribute what you have learned or observed and have either been totally put down for it or nobody even cared enough to ask you in the first place? How does that make you feel? I have and it doesn’t make me feel very good. It’s like what I can offer holds no value or is considered less then important. Chances are if you don’t ask, I’m not going to tell you. It’s my responsibility to how I want to react or to feel when this happens, so do I take it on the chin and learn from it or do I stand up and make people notice? There are things that I care too much about, and many things I just don’t give a damn. I have learned for my own piece of mind that there is just some battles I don’t care enough to partake in. Some hills that I choose not to die on if you will.

I like to think of myself as uncomplicated. It doesn’t take much to make me happy or to keep me happy. I’m not perfect nor do I strive to be. But I do try to appreciate the things in life. Appreciate those around me and the lessons I learn. I do have some pretty strong beliefs. I believe in honesty and trust. I believe in friendship and if your friend needs you, your there. I believe in compassion and empathy. I believe in honour and integrity. I believe in being genuine. I believe in love and respect. I believe in professionalism and ethics. I also have some pretty strong intolerance’s. I don’t tolerate abuse or cruelty. I have no patience for egos, selfishness and vanity. I tend to stay away from anyone who shows signs of drama, narcissism, falseness, and entitlement. I can tell pretty quick whether I will gel with someone. I can also spot a phoney when I meet them.

Life is complicated and messy. It’s also simple and beautiful. Everyone can add such greatness to things and it may surprise you where the next great thing will come from. I don’t think we do any justice to ourselves or to others when we start putting limits on people, never giving someone a chance to show what they are made off, what they can do, the potential they have if they are allowed to be who they are. Everyone carries around energy and what we do with that energy can define you. You have the choice to be positive or negative. You have the choice to speak up or shut up. You have the choice to partake or to walk away. You have the choice to do something great in your life, the choice to change something if it’s not working, the choice to lead or to follow. What will you choose and are you strong enough to defend that choice when it’s questioned? What do you bring to the table?

I don’t believe in regrets. At least that’s easy for me to say when life is good and full of smooth sailing. There are other times where I question, feel the heavy chains of guilt, stew about what happened, what went down, why did it and would things have been different if I had said something else, acted in a different way or just didn’t bother in the first place?

Do you ever wonder sometimes how things happen in your life? Do you ever question that if you had taken a different course of action, how different your life would be now, good or bad? If you could go back and redo something, would you change your behavior? What would that future look like? Is it that job offer you didn’t take? Or that chance to travel? Maybe it was that one person you let get away or that 1 drink to many or the chance to speak up against the one person who lacked a belief in you?

I believe, your life is what you make it. Sometimes things happen because you are in the right place at the right time. Other times things happen because Lady Luck has decided to smile on you. I believe the harder you work and the more you try, the more you will be rewarded. I also believe that every individual has the right to make their own choices and follow their own paths even if to the outsider it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to make sense to them. It’s not their life to live. Sometimes people can be so short sighted. They label you as lacking in a skill set or that your inexperienced, never considering they have grossly misjudged you and just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t mean that you are wrong.

Let me give you some examples. When I was done pastry school, the one thing I wanted to do was work on a cruise ship. This seemed so exotic to me and the call of adventure was strong. I wanted to travel the world, meet many people, and experience many cultures. However, when the time came to apply, I backed down out of fear. I was 20 years old, never lived outside my country and had no family or friends in far flung nations to help ease the transition. So I did the safe thing and stayed in my country. However, this led to the opportunity of working in Lake Louise. Not only was the setting gorgeous, and a nice boost to my resume and career but I also met my husband there. I can’t imagine my life without him but I do wonder if I had left the country to travel the oceans on a ship, if our paths would ever have crossed. Where would I be if they hadn’t? Would I be in a relationship and most importantly, would I have a cat?

Sometimes the timing of things can be so wrong that’s it would be laughable if it wasn’t so aggravating. In 2008, I was offered the chance to be part of Team Manitoba for the 2012 Culinary Olympics. An amazing opportunity to be sure and I would have given anything to be part of that. But sometimes, opportunities have the potential to lash out at you, give you a little reminder of possibilities that are ..just..out..of..reach. As much as I wanted to commit, I just couldn’t. You see, I was in the final stages of planning the opening for my business. I did not have the time, nor the finances to get me to the Olympics. At that point, I was so sure that my future was written in stone as a business owner. In my mind, running your own business from day to day; putting out fires, producing the goods, and trying to keep it afloat is it’s own version of the Olympics. Nobody, and I mean nobody can tell you what owning and running a business is like unless they have dared to do it themselves.

However, even though Anna’s Indulgence Dessert Bar did not survive past year 5, the one thing I will forever be grateful for is the doors of possibilities it did open for me. Every one’s definition of success is different. I get asked if I think my business was a success and the answer is yes. Everyone is so quick to think that success is all about a profit being made, a ribbon being won or gaining first place. Anything less is considered a failure. How so close minded! Ironically, it was my business where I learned I didn’t enjoy being a business owner. Sure there was great moments to be had, but in the end, it just plain wore me down. I also discovered that I really enjoyed teaching and sharing my knowledge with those who wanted to learn. As a result, I taught both Secondary and Post Secondary while running my business. It wasn’t easy, but the second I walked into that teaching kitchen, I felt like I was in the right place, at the right time. A very defining moment. Like slipping on a comfortable pair of shoes. It felt natural and the more I learned about teaching, the more I realized this is what I wanted to do. I think the part I enjoy the most is seeing that moment on the student’s face where they realize they can do it, and it all starts to make sense.

Opportunities. Would you recognize them when they appear? Would you seize that chance or just sit back and wonder “what if?” I’m not perfect, and there have been many opportunities I have passed up. I find it very frustrating to watch someone do the same when it’s so obvious that a great chance is about to pass them by. Some people are so wrapped up in their lives that they get complacent and they lose perspective. Most times, the possibilities of these opportunists can be down right scary. It’s frightening to review your life and see how it could change. Shake you out of your comfortable little world. The thing to remember is what ever choice is made, a chain of events takes place. You can’t go back and change things. You can’t take back those harsh words. So what are you going to do about it? What about the idea that change begins with you? And because of change, opportunities are waiting to present itself. Are you ready to open that door?

Just call me a book worm as I have my face stuck in yet another book. I’m currently reading an autobiography by Jann Arden, the Canadian musician from right here, good ole Calgary. According to her book, “Falling Backwards”, she still lives here too.

Anyway, I’m only in the 2nd chapter but it already has my brain spinning. The theme through the book is the reflection of Jann Arden’s life, her experiences, lessons she’s learned and how she got to where she is today. This made me ponder my own life, and how did I get where I am today and the lessons on the way.

When I look in the mirror, I don’t see a woman who’s in her mid-thirties. Nor do I long for my teen years or my twenties. I do know that I look at the world around me differently then I did in my twenties. And I’m positive that when I was in my twenties, I felt different about life, about what I thought I knew, about me; differently then I did when I was in my teens.

I had a very happy childhood. It was full of bike riding around the neighborhood, swimming in the backyard pool, playing on the monkey bars and hanging out with my friends. I watched The Friendly Giant, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and of course Sesame Street. Those were the days when Sesame Street was actually good, full of innocence and no one had heard of political correctness. I was too young to understand M.A.S.H., but I remember the TV being on when the final show aired.

My parents loved my brother and I and made sure we traveled, went to the dentist for our yearly check-up and made sure there was fresh fruit and vegetables to eat and milk to drink. I was also a bit of a chatter box, sometimes more focused on socializing and making friends then paying attention in math class. I saw Star Wars, Episode 4 at the drive-in as well as ET: The Extra Terrestrial. As I got older, I watched The Cosby Show, Family Ties and Rosanne.

There are things that really stand out for me from my youth:

My dad making breakfast before school. This consisted of bowls of 2 or more kinds of cereal (he wasn’t going to waste the dried out crusty bits at the bottom of the cereal box. Yuck) No wonder why I have a love/hate relationship with cereal.

A weekend of summer vacation where my brother and I dug up the backyard and made a “town” for all his toy cars.

Receiving two giant colouring books at Christmas with a fresh pack of crayons. My dog Buttons.

Having tea biscuits at my grandparents house.

School yard bullies, but not to the extent that they are now. The classmate who’s tooth I knocked out (well he irritated me! And no I was not one of the school yard bullies. He just needed to be reminded who he was dealing with.)

Flying to England by myself when I was 14.

And to this day, whenever I smell overripe banana, it reminds me of when I was in grade four and someone forgot a banana in the coatroom which stunk up classroom.

My teens years past with little angst in the great scheme of things. This was around the time where home computers were becoming the norm and I felt deprived because we didn’t have one. I did have my own phone and phone line in my bedroom. Now that was cool. My phone got so busy that my friends called my parents line and ask them to kick me off my phone so they could reach me.

The grunge movement began and flannel and Doc Martens were everywhere. I listened to INXS, Smashing Pumpkins, a few news bands such as Nirvana and Green Day. And of course U2 in a huge way. I saw Titanic (only once) Schindler’s List (again only once) and The Godfather Part 3 which has since become one of my favorite movies. I received my drivers license at 16, and a car at 17. Both Spring break in New York City and moved out on my own at 18. Experienced my first U2 concert when I was 19.

My twenties saw me travel across the country for both school and work. I lived in Ottawa. I lived in the mountains. Daily drives into Banff. I met my future husband. Another car and my first move into Calgary. I got married, received a Baker’s Red Seal, bought a condo, yet another car (or three), got a cat. I traveled to Quebec City, Montreal, Vancouver, New Orleans (way before Hurricane Katrina) and to Las Vegas. I remember someone once saying to me that it was like I was trying to live my life in a week. And I remember exactly where I was when I heard about the planes that crashed into the World Trade Centre.

Thus far, I have kept myself busy in my thirties. I’ve traveled to Cuba and enjoyed my 1st swim up bar as well as para-sailing and snorkeling. I have opened and closed a business. I have learned to appreciate expensive spiced rum and a well made martini.

Joined a wine club where I came to understand why I like white, sweeter wines over dry, red ones. I started taking courses to gain a Certificate in Adult Education. Started a blog (thank-you for reading) I have taught high school culinary arts in my old high school with a past chef instructor. I also taught Post Secondary pastry arts which helped led me to my current job as a Pastry and Baking instructor at SAIT. Colin and I moved back to Calgary.

I do have fears and worries. I’m very worried about the state of our environment and what the hell is going on with our weather anyway? I get incredibly upset when I hear or see any suffering to animals. I know it exists but it brings me to tears just thinking about it.

I worry that there will be a point in our future where fresh water will become more valuable then gas and oil and they will have to ration it. I worry that the price of a home will make owning a home unattainable.

If you knew me, you would say that I’m a pretty even keeled person. I am loyal and trustworthy, compassionate and highly independent with a side of dry, and sarcastic sense of humour. A bit neurotic with worrying, but I try to not take myself too seriously. Been known to tell myself to stop psychoanalyzing things and to lighten up.

I don’t believe in cliques, vanity or petty dramas and I distance myself from those that do. I enjoy socializing but I’m also quite content with my own company. It doesn’t faze me in the slightest to go to the movies by myself or to eat alone in a restaurant.

I love to read, love the PVR, my electric blanket and I’ll never pass up a cup of coffee. I’m in a happy, healthy and solid marriage with a wonderful man who makes me laugh and I know would do anything for me.

Growing into adulthood is a process and at times not easy. I think it’s important as we hurtle into our future that we take the time to review and reflect on the past. I think if people would just give themselves time to feel things, to deal with issues, they would be much better off.

I have made many mistakes in my past and I have angered and disappointed people. As sorry as I am that has happened, I don’t look back with any regrets. I like to think that I have done some things right or else I wouldn’t have got to where I am today.

Life is a journey, full of wonder, amusement, paying bills, doing laundry and adventure. Here’s to the next adventure!

We used to live in Calgary. We moved there from Lake Louise, Alberta and created a life for ourselves. After six years of enjoying the lifestyle in the big C, we said goodbye and followed our dream. Our dream to open a business. The life of entrepreneurship could wait no more.

That dream was lived and from it we grew.

After six years of being away from Calgary, we are happy to say we are back. Can six years change things. Six Christmases, six birthdays, six Calgary Stampedes, six years of growth and six years of opportunities for things to happen. When I look around, it doesn’t feel like much has changed. Other times, I’m startled by just how much things have changed. Goes to show you that life does carry on, time keeps marching forward, that there is no such thing as standing still. The older I get, the faster time goes.

I am currently rereading a book written by one of my favorite celebrity chefs, Anthony Bourdan called “Medium Raw”. Throughout the book when he’s not ripping a strip off the Great Alice Waters, sharing his distaste for the Food Network or discussing which chefs in his opinion have become total sellouts, he talks about the emerging street food scene. Case in point: Food trucks. Specifically street food culture, and Urban eating. This got me thinking.

Since I’ve been away, the Calgary food scene has exploded. I’m in awe how quickly these trends have become so completely entrenched in our lifestyle. Everywhere I go, people are eating food, talking about food, experimenting with food and coming up with the next big thing in food.

A few years ago it was tea infused chocolate, then along came the cupcake shop. Some say that’s being replaced by the gourmet doughnut which some people say is being replaced by the cream puff and eclair. The food Du-Jour is bacon. Everything has to have bacon in it, on it. Desserts are no longer being served with just sugar. Throw some bacon in it! Candy bacon? Done! Bacon doughnuts? You bet! Bacon fudge? Of course! Bacon ice cream? Some said I was crazy when I made bacon ice cream a few years back. Personally, I like to think I was ahead of my time. Okay, maybe about 5 minutes ahead.

Coming from a pastry chef, this is music to my ears; er.. more like sweetness on my tongue. Chefs’ are dying to share their knowledge and their skills. This grows a hip, and trendy environment which not only survives, but thrives! There is so much intrigue from the public which in turn feeds the creative energy of Chefs alike. For so long, I was dying to be in a city, surrounded by a culture that celebrates food, and consumes it because there is so much curiosity to satisfy. Thank god for thinking outside the box.

Since we’ve been back we have been lucky enough to eat at Jelly Modern Doughnuts (twice). We heard they had a maple bacon doughnut and one garnished with Valrhona chocolate. All true. My favorite was the sea salt caramel with the popcorn garnish. Popcorn as a garnish? What? Who knew?

Wilde Grainz Artisan Bakery, they taught me a true appreciation for the fresh baked loaf of bread. We also tried The Vin Room, a wine and tapas bar that offers flights of wine by the 2 oz, 4 oz or 6 oz glasses. While dining there, I sampled bone marrow, chorizo sausage sliced into ribbons and beef carpaccio sliced so thin that one could almost see through it. To taste it was more like having it melt away in your mouth it was so tender.

We have gone back to one of our favorite neighborhood Thai restaurants, Lemon Grass. Their Shrimp salad rolls? Out of this world, extra peanut sauce please. We accidentally made a foray into a vegetarian restaurant. (FYI: We are NOT vegetarian, burger for dessert)

We have also been lucky to stumble upon an Irish bar with some of the best Hard cider I have ever tasted. Lucky for me, it’s within walking distance from home. We were charmed by a family run Greek restaurant, again not to far from home that makes some nice Italian pie (go figure) This past weekend, I was lucky enough to tour the Pastry Chef Showcase. I’ve never been to an event before where the focus was exclusively on the Pastry Chef and our craft. Each dessert was more beautiful then the next.

Food trucks, 100 mile diet, urban gardens, seasonal produce, Canadian wines, tasting menus, rum tastings (Sailor Jerry? Yes please!), chocolate tastings, scotch tastings, organic and sustainable eating, single-origin chocolate, retro desserts, smoked sea salt, artisan cheese, organic coffee, theme wedding cakes, cupcake wars, molecular gastronomy, chefs table, The Food Network, Gorden Ramsey, anti-intoxicants, super foods, Greek yoghourt, organic cotton candy, charcuterie, deconstructed desserts, dark chocolate heart healthy, pink sea salt, Jamie Oliver….!!!! It’s all happening in this city right now!

The more I learn about food culture, the more I understand how powerful food has become in our society. We read about food. We experiment with food. We incorporate food in our celebrations. We break bread and share our table with a friend. We may even drown our sorrows in either drink or the ice cream bucket.

I don’t have a vice, but if I did, it would be trying new foods. I learned long ago to sample interesting food when I get the chance. So allow me to raise a glass and honour this culture and here’s my wish that from this foodie heaven, amazing things continue to happen. Cheers!