It’s been a long time since I put up a post. I seriously considered putting my blog to rest. The reason for my absence is the conclusion that I had nothing left to say, that nothing exciting was going on with my life and the things I wanted to say, well let’s put it this way, it probably would have created more trouble then it was worth. Sometimes silence is indeed golden.

I’m back, at least for now. It’s taken some time for this post to form. Every-time I tried to sit down and write it out, my thoughts were fleeting and my focus unclear. Basically, there was nothing that I either cared enough about or inspired me to share. I have a hard enough time coming up with interesting tweets. That’s only 140 characters! How am I suppose to write a 1000 words?

In recent times, I have started to feel a shift. A shifting in my focus and in my thoughts. The shifts didn’t come all at once and I still feel like I’m shifting. A little bit everyday. However, at the start of the shifting, I did feel like some things really became clear. Some answers and understanding surfaced and now when I look back, it seems so obvious.

I started a book called “The Fire Starter Sessions” by Danielle Laporte. I have read up to the 5th chapter, but one theme that keeps running through the book; decide what strengths you have that you are passionate about and let those strengths and passions set the course to having a life with purpose, and joy to be built upon. Simple. Powerful.

Consider this; there’s lots of things that we are good at. Some things in fact, we probably excel at. Maybe your amazing at reading spreadsheets, or maybe your known for your tech savvy skills. Maybe your some kind of guru in all and everything you do and everybody around you looks up to you because your the one who’s getting it right, knows what to do, can lead a team and multitask like the best of them. But, does any of this fire you up? Does any of this light up your soul and take you to higher levels of joy and happiness?

So many of us are busy doing things because we’re good at it but not necessarily because we are passionate about it. If we do what fires us up, chances are, our strengths will grow and develop with our passion and in turn we’ll most likely be happier. Ironic really that we spend so much time and energy trying to find happiness when it’s always been there inside us.

I’ll share one of my shifts with you.

When I was 18 and I entered the hospitality world to train as a pastry chef, it was something I was pretty pumped about. It seemed like such a cool thing to get into and having a career as a pastry chef seemed so hip and sophisticated. No one else I knew at the time was doing it. So it appealed to me even more because it was different.

However, the one thing that was never lost on me was; at the end of the day, it was just a job. It was a job that paid the bills, allowed me to work in some pretty cool places and gave me the money to go off and do the really cool things I was passionate about. I didn’t even bake at home as a hobby. There was a lot of neat things I got to do because I was a pastry chef and I had some pretty stellar opportunities because of the fact that I was a pastry chef. I even had fun with my job. But it was always Just. A. Job. I can’t help but to picture some people with such a look of horror on their face to the above admission.(Say it isn’t so!)

I can’t say for certain, but I’m sure my outlook with my job as a pastry chef confused some of my colleagues and supervisors. I had a lack of interest in what so many people were getting caught up in.

From my point of view, the pastry world became very serious and very intense. The more I saw it get this way, the more I found myself at odds with it. To me, it seemed that no matter how hard you worked or how much you knew, it just wasn’t enough. I couldn’t believe that I was in a career where it not only became an issue how a dessert was to look on a plate, but it became THE issue. It started to get quite ridicules. Silly even. There were more important things to worry about, in my opinion. I couldn’t help but to think that everyone needed to take a step back (myself included) and for Petesakes, lighten up!! We are not saving life’s here!! It just goes to show you that ego can be a powerful thing.

The recent shift was the realization that I spent 20 years in an industry doing something that I was never passionate about. This thought was like being hit in the head by a coconut. Duuuhhh!!!! No wonder why I struggled with it. It was like pounding a square peg into a round hole. Or only having one tool in my tool box, and that tool was a hammer. “If I hammer away at it long enough, it’s going to fit by golly!”

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a pastry chef, and if that is where your passion lies, then go for it. I know some pretty talented pastry chefs who are very good at what they do. They have obviously found their passion and are taking it to levels that I could never hope to achieve even if I stayed in the industry. But it was never meant for me.

It doesn’t mean that I didn’t take pride in my work. The way I saw it, I was the calm, steady influence that got things done. Let someone else run around putting out fires. I made sure I was taking care of things so there were no fires in the first place. Unfortunately, what I had to offer was mostly undervalued and overlooked.

It’s been over a year since I left the industry, and I still don’t miss it. I haven’t dug out any of my pastry tools and I can count on one hand the amount of times I have baked at home since then. Working as a pastry chef was very demanding. I left a career with 20 years experience behind me because I was done with playing games. All the knowledge and skill I gained for my craft that I was happy to share; I’m no longer interested in sharing. Even if I went back into the industry, it would be a means to an end. Something to do while I’m making plans for something better. Again, just a job.

So where does this leave me? What are my passions? What are my strengths?

I’m pretty passionate about helping people. I’m pretty passionate about learning how people overcome adversity, and how they grow from their experiences. I’m pretty passionate about wanting to peel back the layers of an individual and learn what motivates them to be a certain way, act a certain way. I’m pretty passionate about wanting to teach people how to accept who they are and help guide them to live a better life. I’m pretty passionate about my volunteer work with Hospice, and how much I enjoy working with those that attend grief group.

My strengths lie in the area’s of leadership and coaching. I’m strong with listening and communicating. I’m a strong organizer with a focused, methodical approach. I’m strong with my ability to practice compassion and empathy. I have very strong insight. I’m also very strong when life beats me down, I get up, brush myself off and come back with even more fight.

Life is way to short to spend your time on things that just don’t serve you. Someone once said to me that it’s not practical to get all dreamy about wanting a better life. Sometimes, you just have to do stuff because you have to do stuff. Ugh. That’s probably one of the most depressing things I’ve ever heard. It’s like being told that having wants and desires is a crime.

It took me a long time to figure out what fires me up. I found it hard to drown out all the noise and clutter and give myself time to think. It was hard because I wanted to be authentic about it. It takes time.

There’s still lots of things that I need to figure out, but the one thing I know for sure is that there has to be passion present. Understanding what my strengths and passions are has created a settling within and I am able to go through my day with assurance.

I want more out of my life than just mediocrity. Anything less is just not good enough.