” The worst thing we can do to ourselves is have a picture in our head of how it’s suppose to be”

Not too long ago, I joined a writing group. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure what my final intentions with joining the group were to be, other then to learn to be a better and stronger writer. One of the things that was suggested was to just write for the sake of writing. Like anything, it takes practice. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with something to write about. When I brought this forth, it was suggested to not force the creative process and just begin. The words will form themselves.

There is a lot of truth to that, as I feel like a faucet has been turned on and the ideas and inspirations are coming fast and furious. It’s almost to the point where if I don’t quickly put my thoughts down, they will leave in a flash. This latest post is all about some fleeting observations I’ve had. It’s nothing more then me just exercising my creativity. It may not make sense and there’s no segue into topics. It just is. So here I go in no particular rhyme or reason, trusting in the process.

Expectations. Good or bad. Helpful or hindrance. Setting and exceeding the bar or no set of standards. How many times have you been told that you need to meet expectations? That your not performing at expectations? That they expect something better from you? How many times have you told someone they don’t meet expectations? That they have unreal expectations. That you’re left disappointed because something failed your expectations. That you need to adjust your expectations, that someone else needs to adjust their expectations. What happens if we don’t have expectations?

Most times during the night, I wake up to check the time on my clock radio. I’m not sure why I do, out of habit I suppose. I guess it’s the comfort of knowing what time it is. There’s nothing special about this radio, other then I’ve had it since I was 12 years old. It’s brown and would be considered out of date in style. There’s nothing sleek about it. The numbers are bright red. It’s followed me from place to place, move to move, city to city. I should probably replace it with a modern version, or better yet, use my smartphone. Somehow incorporate more technology into my life. When I travel, I either bring the clock radio with me, or have to be on the side of the bed that’s closest to a clock. The idea of having something from a long ways back from my past still with me today may be saying something.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn and to be honest, I’m not sure if I quite have the hang of it yet is too relax. What will be will be. Let someone else take the reins for a while. Stop and smell the roses. Take time out for myself. When it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen. Seek balance. You know, feelgood guru crap.

I can tell you exactly why I find it so hard to “turn it off”, to chill for a bit, to let it go…. I’m a person of action. Always have been. I’m a driven, hard-working, stand up for myself, let’s get organized, type A personality, takes no bullshit kinda woman. It takes a while to slow this down. I consider myself a strong person, I can read people really well, and I know my mind. If I don’t like something, I change it. If someone or something gives off a unsettling vibe, I distance myself from them/it. If I think there’s been injustice, I will fight for the underdog.

I don’t do yoga although I tried a class many years ago. The yoga session was run by a very stern yoga instructor who was VERY concerned about how your toes were placed on the yoga mat. She was constantly at me! Like I cared what my toes were doing! I was just happy that I was able to get to the yoga studio without tripping over my own feet!

At the start of one session in particular, I unrolled my yoga mat beside someone randomly. Unknowingly to me, they were joined by a friend who REALLY needed to workout beside them. In no uncertain terms, I was told to move my yoga mat and then they proceeded to get really hostile towards me because I apparently wasn’t moving my mat fast enough. Ummm…I don’t think this person quite grasped what yoga was all about, nor did it seem to be working for her. Just sayin’ Everybody stopped and stared at us! It was so embarrassing!

So that concluded my yoga experience. To this day, myself and my family still laugh about it.

It’s a real skill to listen to another person. Giving your time and attention to someone is probably one of the most selfless things you can do. It doesn’t take much but few people know how to listen for understanding. We’re so busy trying to come up with the next thought, the next reply. I’m certainly not perfect, there have been times where I was too distracted to hear what someone was saying, or too judgmental to care. I have learned to just absorb what another is saying, to appreciate the moment and to get more comfortable with silence that sometimes happens during a conversation. I have also been around people who can’t listen at all and I take away from that experience what not to do.

Some things I know for sure:

– Everybody you meet is there to teach you something

– Everything that has happened to you up to this point is setting you up for what’s to come next

– There is no such thing as coincidence

– In order to make room in your life for something good to happen, something bad has to leave

– The more you give, the more you will receive

– When someone offers you a great opportunity, accept it and worry about the details later

– Walk away from anything that no longer serves you, makes you feel content or that your not passionate about

– Be generous with praise, gentle with judgements, and observe everything around you with a sense of wonder