Going back to my love of reading, I recently read an article in Oprah Magazine (I think it was either the March or April issue) and it proposed the idea of self-reflection and asked the question “If you could go back to your younger self, what would you say?” I found the entire magazine fascinating and I read it from cover to cover…twice.

So I ask again; If you could go back, what would you say to your younger self?

This has been floating around in my brain ever since and I wanted to write about it. So I’m going to share some of my mistakes I made while I was making my way up the Pastry Chef ladder. I’ll be the first to admit that although I can laugh at myself, I am famous for beating myself up mercilessly when things don’t work out. My attempt here is to add a bit of humour, and though we all make mistakes, it’s what we do with them afterwards that’s important.

Humiliation #1: Early in my training, I was working for a big, fancy hotel that catered to very large banquets including Kosher events. Kosher, for those that are unaware simply means blessed by a rabbi and/or adhering to the food rules in the Torah. (According to Ask.com) It was a 900 guest wedding and the dessert was Baked Alaska…

BEWARE Educational Alert: Baked Alaska is a layer of cake, under a layer of ice cream, followed by a piped layer of meringue. Traditionally, to give the dessert the “baked look”, it would go into a VERY hot oven for a few seconds before the server takes it out to the guest. Nowadays, the dessert has either tiny cups of flaming Brandy perched on top or the meringue is “baked” by a blowtorch before it goes out to the guest.

…It took me all friggin’ day to mask those portions of Baked Alaska as I was still very new at the pastry game and my piping skills were not very fast. After a 10 hr work day, I stumbled into the change room completely exhausted and covered in meringue gooyness when I overheard one of my coworkers talking about the 900 guest Kosher function. No big deal until I had a moment of clarity and realized that I only did enough Baked Alaska for 400 instead of the 900 that were expected.

I quickly threw on my day old chef whites and ran back to the kitchen to speak to the Pastry Chef. I had to tell him the truth and admit my mistake in miscounting the dessert. He kept his cool and told me to get back to work. Afterwords, my supervisor spoke to me about the incident and although he never lost his temper, his utter calmness and disappointment with me for not being more focused and not asking questions when I was unsure was a real blow to the pride.

What I would tell my younger self: To do a job properly, take the time to understand the details. They say the devil is in the details, well they’re right, because if you don’t get the facts straight, it can bite you in the #*((.

Humiliation #2: At this point, I had completed 3 years of industry training, and 1 year of formal training. I was working at a resort hotel (again big and fancy). It was during the quiet season and the kitchen was being run by a small kitchen brigade. This also meant that if you weren’t busy, you would be sent home. I needed to work because I had bills to pay and those don’t change when your hours get cut, so I admit, I was feeling a little frustrated.

It was a quiet evening and one of the kitchen supervisors came over and started grilling us about what work we were doing. If it wasn’t up to snuff, she was sending people home. When it was my turn, my frustration came out and I might have shown a bit of attitude. Well she didn’t like it. (It may have something to do with the fact that she was pregnant and may have been moody, although I will admit I should have kept my mouth shut)

Anyways, I told her not to be concerned about what I was doing because I was working and not slacking. Again she didn’t like that so the next thing I knew, she called me into the office, gave me a VERY STRONG lecture and then gave me what they called a peek-half. Basically it’s a negative mark on your work record. I apologized to her but I refused to sign-off on the peek-half because a) She was partly to blame for it and admitted it as much and b) what a STUPID name for a disciplinary action. So I refused on principal. Hey I’m a Leo, and stupidity does on occasion get my back up.

What I would tell my younger self: Show your supervisor some empathy. They are human and sometimes they have to make the tough, unpopular decisions. Learn to pick your battles because that one time when you really need your supervisors support, they will come through and help you out. Oh and ah, don’t take on a pregnant woman.

Humiliation #3: Different hotel and a few more years into my training. We had a banquet for 400 guests and the dessert was New York Cheese Cake…

Another Educational Alert: New York Cheesecake differs from plain or vanilla cheesecake by it’s density. This is a result of more cream cheese being in a recipe for New York cheesecake.

…and we’re back…The day before the event, my job was to make and bake the cheesecake, which I did, or so I thought. The day of the banquet, I received a call at home from the pastry chef, who I gotta say, was a little grumpy. It turned out that when she started portioning the cheesecake for the function, the centre of 2 out of the 4 sheets of cheesecake were under-baked. Not by a little, but a lot.

Let me tell you, this is not a phone call you want to get at anytime. I rushed into work, and knowing I was going to be facing the pastry chefs anger, my heart was pounding and my stomach was in a free fall. As I walked into the kitchen, it got really quiet and no one would look at me. I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to make up 2 more sheets of cheesecake and I’d better be quick about it. How did I let this happen? It was a lack of focus. The day before the event, it was insanely busy and I felt I had to be superwoman and tried to do too many things at once.

What I would tell my younger self: Take the time to prioritize your work load. It’s worth it in the end to spend a few more minutes on the most important tasks. Stay focused. Oh and it helps if you leave the cheesecake in the oven a little bit longer.

Humiliation #4: This time, I’m the business owner, I’m the boss. At this point, I had both 14 years of industry experience and my Red Seal. I had a wedding couple who wanted a 5 tier wedding cake with each tier being separated my pillars. No big deal as I’ve done quite a few of them at this point. A week before the wedding, I met with the couple and they were a bit concerned about the cake collapsing because of the pillars. I was surprised they brought it up and I assured them that everything will be fine and besides, I’m a trained professional.

Well, we jinxed ourselves. From the start of constructing the wedding cake, I had nothing but problems. The cake itself didn’t bake properly, the butter cream split on me twice, the dowels were cut to short and there wasn’t enough of them, the cake boards were too small and on and on. I soldiered on and was able to get the cake to the hall and set-up in time for the wedding reception. As I left the venue, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

About an hour later, I received a call from the event coordinator. Turns out that this cursed wedding cake was about to collapse and I had to come back and fix it. Of course, I rushed back to the event, and when I walked into the room, I had the focus of 200 pairs of eyes looking directly and hostility at me. I had to fix this disaster of a wedding cake in front of a live studio audience. Even though I was able to get it back into shape, it still didn’t look like it should have. In the end, the bride was really cool about it. Her brand new husband on the other had…not so much. (Like he really cared. All he wanted was chocolate)

What I would tell my younger self: Follow, follow, follow your instincts. What I should have done is really listened to the concerns of the wedding couple and together we could have made changes to the cake. As for the angry groom, I heard he was fired from his job and is now facing a divorce. Karma!

We have all made mistakes and we may even have a regret or two. At times, it seems something doesn’t sink in until we make a mess of it and then all of a sudden, the light turns on. I think it’s important to keep a perspective on things and to remember that this awkward moment will pass. I think growing from your mistakes keeps you humble and as you develop in your profession, it makes you wiser. It also teaches you to be more empathetic when someone else makes an oops.

I think as one gets older, one will never stop making mistakes but because they have experience on their side, they are able to put the brakes on the mistake before it gets out of hand, or at least fix it before anybody notices. Try to be patient with yourself and others, learn, learn, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Oh and if some couple approaches you about a 3 foot mermaid cake, just say no.